I told everyone we were moving. I told my church, my friends, everyone. My kids started packing their toys. We took pictures off the wall. We were positive we were moving. We had been praying over a house and knew we would be living there soon.
I felt so compelled to claim this faith-filled happening openly. I was really nervous, had all the doubts and what if’s, but I knew I needed to claim it openly. It was like a trying of my faith. Would I tell others even though it hadn’t happened yet?
I did. I told everyone.
And we never moved.
The house was suddenly bought by someone else.
And we never moved.
All the fears about claiming what you have heard from God and being wrong, suddenly hit me in the face …. and in the faith.
This, of course, sent me into a tailspin of questions with God. It really shook me to my core, even questioning my salvation and beliefs in general. How could I be so sure of something, and then it be wrong? I questioned if I knew God’s voice at all.
This not only affected me but my husband, children, friends. Everyone had believed based on my word. Now, I felt responsible for wrecking their faith too.
Months and years went by as I continued to wrestle with this.
By the time I received a cancer diagnosis I was pretty much past it. It still whispered to me at times. I still wondered about timing, but I had forgiven myself for being wrong.
Then I am told I have cancer in my body.
My faith is called into question and this past experience with my faith is suddenly seen from a different perspective.
I hear from my Father that I had been obedient in following faith, regardless of the outcome. I had been faithful in following what He had for me and my family. I had believed, without seeing. I had claimed it. I had claimed Him. This experience had accomplished its purpose. Not a new home as I had thought, but it had taught me how to operate in faith. And now my faith was ready for another work. Now my faith would need to keep me alive.
Suddenly the past few years were re-written. I had a new perspective. Now I could see a bigger picture. I could see how my obedience had strengthened my faith, not destroyed it. Now I could trust God’s working and process more than mine. Now I could move past my ego and claim deliverance for His glory. Now, where doubt had been, I had none.
Faith is interesting in that you have to play with it, knead it, try it out, so many analogies, in order for it to grow. It will expand but only if you take it out of the box.
I had taken mine out of the box.
Now, I see my faith like the breath that fills a balloon. I have an idea, thought, wish, prayer. If I’m brave enough, I ask faith to enter this idea. It fills that deflated, flat idea with space. It makes room for the Spirit to enter. It brings life to the idea. Just like a balloon as it takes shape.
My belief that I will be completely healed from the cancer in my body was brought to life when my faith entered. Like a balloon it expanded. Now, this belief along with the truth that God has good for me, are such strong “balloons” that they carry me over my worries and fears. Faith has lifted me.
This is what happens when you use faith. It expands. It fills a space. It begs to fill more space. It makes you brave. It gives you new perspective. It wants to be known and tried. It births dreams, big dreams.
How can you take your faith out of the box? Take that idea you have been pondering forever. Speak that petition you have been taking to God for months. Remember that whisper God said to you Ask faith to enter it. Watch it expand like a balloon. See what color it is, does it float, how do you interact with it?
Get to know your faith.
Picture is Bansky Flying Balloon Girl.